Matt volunteered to change H's heavy-looking diaper so that I could enjoy my pepperoni & jalepeno pizza for lunch without a baby clawing at my legs trying to score a bite. Moments later, this is what I hear through the baby monitor:
"THIS is why I don't let him touch his balls b/c he gets poo all over himself!"
*grumbling that I can't make out*
"Boo get in here! This is how he gets poop diseases!"
When I walked into the nursery, Matt was holding H's little arms together as if he was being taken into custody with one hand while fanatically wiping H's bottom with a wipe in his other. I made every attempt to show him I was taking this moment as seriously as he was but...I clearly failed when he saw the tears from laughter falling down my face.
Matt - "H doesn't like it when you're laughing at him like that."
Me - "I'm not laughing at him. I'm laughing at you. Hew probably doesn't like it when you're yelling at him about poo either."
2 applications of hand sanitizer & 3 hand washes with antibacterial soap later (all on Hew) Matt was back to being Goofy Dad, much to my relief & H's delight. I'm enough of a germaphobe for the 3 of us.