Feb 13, 2011

And then I met Jorts...

Due to the overwhelming demand for the story of how I met my husband, I was given no choice but to give my audience what she wants. So a here here goes...

I walked into a smoky bar one night with no intention of falling in love but couldn't help but notice the tall blond and handsome stranger just a few feet away from me. We locked eyes over the dimly lit room...one thing led to aother...and before I knew it we were married and had a baby. The end.

Kidding. Kind of.

My friend Terry & I spent the greater part of our weekends during the summer of '06 going out on the town to live it up and shake what our mamas gave us. One August night we decided to go to Old Town Scottsdale and pick the place with the shortest line. Suede was the winner. When we walked into the club, Matt really was the first thing I saw. Not b/c it was love at first sight but because he and his friends were at least a head taller than everyone else. I approached the bar to order my usual Kettle One & soda and that's when he went in for the kill. He leaned in and whispered something ridiculously corny before asking if he could buy me a drink. I have tried everything short of hypnosis to try and remember what he had said exactly but that detail seems to be lost forever. I do remember thinking, 'Wow, guys really use that line?' Despite his failed attempt to be Prince Charming, he had pretty eyes & a really nice smile so I let the 1st strike go. One of his friends apparently had a case of the yellow fever too and hit it off with my girlfriend so we made plans to double date the following night.

When Terry & I got to Macaroni Grill we were running a little late (as usual) so the boys were already seated. As we walked up to the table I was relieved to see that I didn't have beer goggles on the night before and he was just as handsome as I had remembered....until he stood up to greet me. He had on jorts aka jean-shorts, almost identical to these:

I've seen plenty of denim shorts growing up...in SOUTH CAROLINA...in the LATE NINETIES. I thought this choice of clothing went out of style along with the fanny pack by Y2K but clearly I was misaken. To get a better understanding of my sentiments involving jorts, please see the 1st definition from Urban Dictionary, especially the last sentence. Matt had a lot of black friends from his days playing high school & college basketball so maybe he thought that gave him a 'ghetto pass' to rock these Sean Jeans?? Despite the urge to burst into laughter and run away, I sat down and gave this tall white boy another chance (but still kept a mental tally, strike 2). By the time our appetizer arrived, I had already forgotten about the jorts. He was sweet and made me laugh.

We met up for a couple more group functions (bowling, BBQ, etc) until our first "alone" date. Casual dinner, nothing fancy, but it was going to be just the 2 of us. Matt came to pick me up and when I answered the door...there he was...in a nice polo that brought out his eyes...white shoes...and jorts. When we got to the restaurant, he excused himself to go wash his hands and that's when I grabbed my cell phone to text Terry:

He's wearing JORTS again. :( :( :( Oh well, he's still cute.

As Matt walked back to our table, he looked a little...bothered. So I asked him if everything was ok and that's when he pulled out his phone and said, "What's THIS supposed to mean?"

To my horror, I see the text that I had just sent. The text that was supposed to have gone to Terry.


I was speechless. There was no way I was going to recover smoothly from this so I just told the truth. Amazingly enough, he thought it was funny. And we shared a good laugh about it. He said that he would do whatever it took to convert me to Team Jorts and made me admit he still looked good in them.

We spent the next year laughing, eating & traveling.

Poor Jerry never saw it coming.
Up close & personal w/ Beyonce

Joe's Crab Shack in San Diego
Then after our 2nd Valentine's dinner together, a cheesecake came out for dessert in the shape of a heart...with a Ring Pop in it. I don't even remember what was said during his proposal b/c I started bawling as soon as he got down on one knee. My blubbering answer must've been incoherent b/c a guy from the other side of the restaurant yelled, "What did she say??" after he popped the question.

On March 13, 2009, he finally made an honest woman out of me. (Warning: picture overload)

Getting "served" on the dance floor by my uncle.

Y'all, how cute are they???

And now here we are after celebrating 5 Valentine's Days, 4 "meeting anniversaries", 3 "engagement anniversaries", almost 2 wedding anniversaries, and a baby later.

Boos for life


  1. Simon and I had a VERY nice...well...several very nice shoulder-shaking laughs over the jorts...especially the text mishap.

    so funny.

    and your wedding pictures are so pretty. pretty pretty.

    thanks for doing this.

    I'll have to come back a few times today if I want to laugh some more.

    ha. Jorts.

  2. hahah good story rox. Best Valentines blog on blogger yet.
    i knew about the jorts but did NOT know about the text that was sent to him. so funny.

    and wait, do you guys actually CELEBRATE all of those anniversaries? How you remember all that? wait...this is roxy we are talking about. of course you remember it.
    happy engagement anniversary!

  3. I am always soooo scared that I'll text the exact WRONG person, just like that! Oh my, got a hearty laugh out of the jorts story....hahah! Jorts!

  4. I'm a little disappointed he wasn't wearing jorts at your wedding. ;)

  5. Hi Roxy!

    Thanks for following me. I love your blog and following you back. :)

    Beautiful wedding pics!
    Our 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up too but in June. It's crazy how time flies huh?

    btw, Your kids are adorable!


  6. I'm still laughing at the jorts...HILARIOUS!!! :-) Please tell me he still has them?!

    Oh and your wedding pictures are breathtaking! You were a beautiful bride!


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